


Chaos Theory

by randomizer



Category: Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-30
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 01:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomizer/pseuds/randomizer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kalicia in the multiverse. (Written for sweetjamielee's <i>It's a Lockhart Gardner Tradition</i> summer 2012 ficathon.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chaos Theory

_A short course in the theory of the multiverse:_

Some quantum physicists believe that every single possibility becomes a reality in another universe. With each decision, we create alternate universes in which the consequences of all the choices we failed to make are acted out in a cosmic drama. These alternate universes are infinite and equally real, and no single one has primacy over any other.

So say the quantum physicists.  The poets know, however, that the lives of some individuals are destined to cross again and again, no matter how much chaos there is in the cosmos.

 

§§§

**Universe Theta**

****

 

September 2008: A Bar

The room is dark and smoky. Peter Florrick stares down at his scotch, contemplating it. The woman immediately to his left says something to him with what can only be described as a challenging smile.

“What?”

“I said, do you have a light?”

“Sure.”  Peter pulls out the silver lighter and hands it over to the woman.

She looks at the lighter and then arches one eyebrow at Peter.  “Light it for me.”

Peter hesitates for a fraction of  a second, thinking of Alicia’s increasing, obvious sadness, thinking of Grace and Zach. He smiles at her, his tone just a tick below regretful. “I’m not a Bogart kind of a guy.”

__

 

 _That night Peter Florrick has a conversation (and nothing more) with Kalinda Sharma, which_  
 _leads to his hiring her to work for him at the State’s Attorney’s Office,  
_ _where he eventually learns that  
_ _Kalinda Sharma is a name that she has assumed because she is on the run, and so he  
_ _decides to help Kalinda with the official details of the name change, an act of kindness which causes  
_ _Kalinda to be grateful enough to Peter that she  
_ _refuses to work for Glen Childs, who wants to find ways to hurt Peter, and so  
_ _Peter never fires Kalinda and  
_ _is never caught with Amber Madison and thus  
_ _is never the center of a public scandal, and so  
_ _Peter and Alicia never separate, which means that Alicia occasionally  
_ _acts as hostess for various parties that Peter is required to throw for his colleagues, and  
_ _during one of these parties she meets Kalinda Sharma, and  
_ _they become friends._

 

April 2012: Another Bar

Kalinda regards the woman beside her, who has become familiarly and endearingly tipsy. She allows her face relax a little into the too-fond expression that she usually manages to keep in check. “What did you say?”

Alicia laughs at nothing at all. “I said, I think you see more of Peter than I do these days.”

Kalinda feels a pang at that. She knows things about Peter that Alicia doesn’t know, and that she’s not sure she ever wants Alicia to find out. “Peter is certainly a busy man.”

“Busy.  Yes.” Alicia twists her hands around her shot glass. The laughter has suddenly disappeared. Kalinda would give anything to have it back again.

“Alicia,” Kalinda hesitates. “What do you want?”

“What do I want?” Alicia considers the question, glancing over at this person who has been her best friend for the past two years. “I don’t know.”  She wonders when things became so complicated and unexpected in her life. Her head is whirling from the tequila and the something else that she rarely allows to float to the surface of her subconscious.

“Alicia? I think I need to . . .” Kalinda’s mask has slipped even more, into something that Alicia might actually see if she squints at it hard enough.  They are staring at one another, neither speaking.  And suddenly, Alicia knows exactly what she wants.  She tilts Kalinda’s face toward her own and kisses her softly.

 

§§§

**Universe Omicron**

****

 

September 2008: A Bar

“Do you have a light?”

Peter glances over at her, noting how beautiful she is.  He thinks of Alicia, of her coldness, of her growing frustration that neither of them ever wants to acknowledge.  He thinks about his job as the State’s Attorney. Suddenly, sick of it all, he pulls out his lighter and flicks it.  The light burns bright as he bends toward her.

 

 _That night Peter Florrick sleeps with Kalinda Sharma and eventually_  
 _hires her to work with him at the State’s Attorney’s Office, but  
_ _refuses when she asks for his help regarding her Kalinda Sharma identity, because  
_ _he doesn’t want to put his career in jeopardy, and so  
_ _Kalinda, angry, agrees to help Glen Childs in his investigation in the hope of taking down Peter, as long as  
_ _Childs helps her with the necessary Kalinda Sharma paperwork, and then Kalinda  
_ _quits her job before Peter can fire her, and then  
_ _goes to work for Stern, Lockhart, and Gardner, and  
_ _becomes friends with Alicia Florrick, who  
_ _is hired as an associate after Peter’s scandal becomes public, but Kalinda  
_ _never goes to Alicia’s apartment because she doesn’t want to run into Peter, and so  
_ _is less helpful on the Carter Wright death row appeal than she might have been, which means that  
_ _Carter Wright loses the appeal and is executed, and (more directly pertinent to Kalinda herself)  
_ _Grace Florrick has an argument about religion with her friend Shannon, which causes  
_ _Grace and Shannon to drift apart, and so  
_ _the day Grace is missing, Shannon never tells Kalinda about Jimmy Patrick, which delays  
_ _Kalinda’s location of Grace at the church long enough so that  
_ _a random drive-by shooter fires at the two of them on the way to Kalinda’s car, and Kalinda reacts by  
_ _knocking Grace to the ground and covering the girl with her own body, which results in  
_ _Kalinda’s being killed instantly by one of the bullets, leaving Grace uninjured._

 

April 2012: Another Bar

__

Will walks into the bar and sees Alicia sitting at the end of the row, hunched and alone as he knew she would be.  He sits down next to her.  “Hey.”

She doesn’t speak.  Will tries again. “Alicia. Please.  You can’t keep this up every night. It’s been more than three months since . . .”

Alicia turns and looks at him then. “Are you having a problem with my job performance?”

No, of course not, he thinks to himself. You have become an emotionless automaton lawyer, but always a competent one. “You know that’s not why I’m here. You have to talk to someone. Your kids are worried about you.”

A flicker of something that might be an expression flashes across Alicia’s face. “What do you know about my kids?”

“Grace came to see me.”

The expression lasts a little longer this time. “Will, just don’t. I’ll speak to Grace.” She turns back to her drink. Scotch, Will notices. And definitely not her first one.

He tries again. “Alicia. Can’t we just . . .”

“Will, I’m not your problem anymore.  I’m fine.”

You’re not fine, he thinks. And you’ll always be my problem. He plunges into the place he has been fearing to tread for so long. “It wasn’t your fault. Life can be . . . there are accidents.  This was just . . . one of them.” He chokes, unable to finish whatever inane words were about to come out of his mouth.

Alicia doesn’t look at him. “This . . . it was my fault. There are things you don’t know.”

“Then tell me.” Will feels desperate. Losing Kalinda had hit him hard, but watching Alicia die a little more each day is even worse. He can’t help her, he knows this, but something in him makes him keep doggedly trying.

Alicia takes another sip of her drink, wishes for more. “Kalinda was only there to be shot because she was trying to say that she still cared about me. If I could have seen that earlier, maybe it wouldn’t have happened.  Or something different would have happened.”

This one Will can answer. “Alicia, no matter what, Kalinda was always going to try to save Grace and help you. That’s just who she was.”

A tear rolls down Alicia’s cheek, and she looks at Will for the first time. “I know that now. But I never got to let her know that I knew it. The last time I ever saw Kalinda, I snapped at her for helping Caitlin with the homophobic professor’s case. And then . . .”

Will looks away. There is no real response to any of that, and he knows it. He reaches out and touches Alicia’s hand, and the two of them sit silently together.

 

__

§§§

**Universe Gamma**

**  
**

****

September 2008: A Bar

“Do you have a light?”

Peter does, but he senses this woman wants more of him than an ignited cigarette.  He hesitates and finds that he’s not in the mood for whatever she might have in mind. “Sorry.  I don’t have a lighter on me. Try the bartender.  I’m leaving, anyway.”  He puts some cash down by his half-empty drink and slides off the stool, fingering the hard outline of the silver lighter in his pocket.

 

 _That night Peter Florrick never has an extended conversation with Kalinda Sharma, and also_  
 _never sleeps with her, so he consequently  
_ _never hires her to work at the State’s Attorney’s Office, and thus  
_ _never fixes the paperwork of her assumed name, and so  
_ _Kalinda’s husband Nick is able to use his connections to locate her, and  
_ _come to Chicago, which  
_ _leads to an encounter that ends in  
_ _Kalinda’s shooting and killing Nick in self-defense, for which  
_ _she is arrested immediately, and  
_ _her case is assigned to public defender Donna Seabrook, who  
_ _mentions her case to Diane Lockhart at an Emily’s List dinner, and so Diane  
_ _takes Kalinda Sharma on as a pro bono client, and then  
_ _assigns the case to first-year associate Alicia Cavanaugh, who  
_ _(unsurprisingly, since Alicia has an uncanny knack for winning almost all of her trials)  
_ _gets Kalinda acquitted._

 

April 2012: Another Bar

Alicia is surprised to find herself at a bar with Kalinda Sharma.  Socializing with clients is not something that she is prone to, but for some reason she hears herself saying yes when Kalinda asks her out for a drink to celebrate the victory.  Alicia has wondered about Kalinda throughout their long hours of witness prep.  Who is she?  Why is she so alone in the world?

Kalinda gives Alicia a half-smile .  “Tequila?”

Alicia shakes her head. “I haven’t had tequila since college. It really isn’t me.”

Kalinda looks at her. “There are a lot of things that I didn’t think were me, until they were. Anyway, I hear that two shots of tequila is the tradition when you get someone off from a murder charge.”

Alicia smiles. “I think you just made that tradition up.”

“Maybe.  But it sounded good, didn’t it?”

It does, thinks Alicia.  She signals to the bartender for the tequila.  When it arrives, the two women clink glasses, down the shots, and suck limes simultaneously.  It is the best Alicia has felt in the year since the divorce. The drink has made her suddenly lighter, and she savors the unaccustomed feeling of weightlessness.  She looks again at Kalinda, wondering what it is about this woman that seems to fascinate her so. “What will you do now?”

“Now that I won’t be going to jail? Get a job. I’ve done work as an investigator. I have a friend who wants me to go into corporate work, but I’m not sure about it.”

“What about working for a law firm?” Alicia finds herself saying before thinking anything through.

“ _Your_ law firm?  I didn’t think first-year associates made hiring decisions.”

Alicia flushes a little. “I know that Will and Diane have been looking to bring on a new investigator.  I could mention you to them.  Are you good?”

Kalinda nods. “Yeah. I’m good.”

“Well, then.   And if you get the job, the Lockhart Gardner tradition is three shots of tequila.  Can you handle that?”

Kalinda smiles.  “I can.  Can you?”

Alicia looks at her and wonders.

 

 

§§§

**Universe Alpha**

 

September 2008: A Bar

“Do you have a light?”

Peter thinks the question over.  Yes, he has a light. He also knows that, in his present mood, any conversation with a woman like this one might not end well. And there is something about this woman—so beautiful, a little desperate. Walking away would be the smart move. He has a wife, whatever has been going on between the two of them. But then Peter decides that, for once in his life, he doesn’t care about the smart move. He smiles, pulls out his lighter, flicks it, and bends to light the cigarette. 

__

 

April 2012: Another Bar

__

“I’m not gay.” Kalinda breaks the tension between the two of them abruptly, causing Alicia to stop spinning her glass of beer and look directly at her for the first time since Kalinda had sat down next to her.

Kalinda tries again. “You asked whether I was gay?”

“Yes. Two years ago.” Alicia winces as she says this, remembering that day two years ago, when she and Kalinda were both different people.

“Well, I wanted to answer.  I’m not gay. I’m . . . flexible.”

“Flexible.  Good.” Alicia signals for some tequila. “And Lana Delaney? That’s . . . flexible?”

Kalinda smiles. “Yes. Sort of.”

“Because as your lawyer, I’d . . . You know what?  It’s your life, you do what you want.” It comes out sharper than Alicia has intended, and she downs her shot to dull the sudden rush of feelings, feelings that she doesn’t care to identify just then. She sighs inwardly and wishes (not for the first time) that things between Kalinda and her could be different.

 


End file.
